Dear soccer guy, I have no idea
I sometimes go to a place for lunch where (unfortunately) soccer is frequently on the television. I usually sit at the counter instead of one of the tables. So far I’ve gotten a couple questions about soccer that I couldn’t possibly answer.
[Soccer guy #1 enters during a scoreless draw…shocking I know] Is one side possessing the ball more?
Sorry pal, that assumes I’ve actually been paying attention.
[Soccer guy #2 explaining the aggregate score to his buddy]
I overhear and ask “So if this game stays 2-1, they go to penalty kicks because the aggregate score is tied?”
Soccer guy #2: Where are they playing?
Soccer guy #2: Because don’t road goals count more than home goals?
The answer to all of these questions is “I have no idea.” Sorry, soccer guy. You need to get your info from someone who actually watches.